Failure- Stop Avoiding It

Did you know that a master at something has failed more times than a beginner has tried?

A master is not only excellent at what they do but also more of a failure than most. It is how they can accept defeat, learn from it, and grow that allows them to tap into levels that others have never reached.

Yet when you come across it, you don't think of it this way. You see professionals in a field, and they make it look easy.

You don't see the frustrations, tears, and errors. You don't get to see all the times they failed and wanted to give up.

And, you for sure wouldn't be able to count them.

The Fear of Starting

Whenever you think about starting something new, it's easy to become paralyzed by the idea of failing at it. It's one of the factors that keep you from getting started.

But why are we so afraid of failing?

As a child, you became exposed to a school system that marks failure as something to avoid. You entered a system that didn't teach you about beauty and the growth that comes from it.

Instead, embarrassment is the first emotion that gets assigned to failure.

What should you have learned about failure?

Failure is learning

Yup, you know this. Yet, you are trying to avoid it because you haven't learned how to learn from failure. You haven't detached those negative emotions and thoughts.

Failure is a big part of the learning process.

You have to take a minute to reflect every time you fail. You have to try and see what to change, how to change, and what to do differently.

If you get into the habit of doing this with everything in your life, your view of failure will change.

It will become easier for you to reflect. It will become easier to pinpoint the mistakes. And it will become a whole lot easier for you to avoid them.

Open up About Failure for More Meaningful Connections with Others

When you are honest about your failures with others, you make yourself vulnerable to them. Being open and honest about them allows others to respond with kindness. But more importantly, it creates a space for them to open up and be vulnerable.

There is a strength that comes from admitting your failures. This strength allows you to be more resilient in the future. It builds your emotional strength just as much as going to the gym builds your muscles.

It is not always the easiest thing to do. But deciding to face your failures head-on, then learning from them and figuring out what really happened, will allow you to build greater resilience.

Once you admit your failures and open up to others about them they stop haunting you. They are no longer things to avoid. They become tools that help get you to the next level and develop stronger bonds and more fulfilling connections. So don't be afraid to open up about them.

Mind Your Thoughts When You Fail

Our brains, because of biology or because of society, have a way of making us feel a lot worse during times of failure. It feeds you with outrageous thoughts that you know are not true.

You need to be aware of this because your brain will try to make you feel inadequate and undeserving of success. When you feel like this, you will be discouraged from trying again.

So as much as your brain is a part of you, remember that not all your thoughts are true.

When you fail, pay attention to your thoughts, and get into the habit of breaking the loops of negativity. Train yourself to adopt empowering beliefs. Remind yourself of all the positives that can come from failure.

Doing this will help you to be more open to trying again.

So the next time you fail, remember all the good. Try to learn from it. Be vulnerable about it. Then get up, wipe off the defeat, and get ready to crush it.

The challenge
This week your assignment is to reflect on a recent failure. Try to pinpoint three ways in which you have grown because of it. And try to find two lessons you can learn from it and apply them to the future.